Panorama of the sunset.
Boise, Idaho 11-29-11
Isolation
So, where do I begin? There’s been a lot of issues going on with me, and they seem to be getting worse. It’s so hard to classify all of them because they all seem to be related. Let’s start with isolation.
I think the isolation of not having a job and always being alone is really getting to me. I’ve always been a loner, comfortable by myself. To tell you the truth, I’ve enjoyed it more than being around people. I’ve never felt comfortable around people or in social situations. I’ve always felt like the odd man out. And I’ve embraced that in the past, been proud of the fact that I could stand on my own without needing anybody. But I don’t think I was quite prepared for what was about to happen when I lost my job.
Hey, It’s a start…
So, I’ve started a blog. I’ve been meaning to for some time, and have dabbled here and there, but just like my regular journal writing, it never lasts long. Hopefully I can change that.
So, why? There’s a couple of reasons why I’ve decided to write and make it public. One, I’ve been going through a tough time lately, mentally and emotionally, and I can’t afford a therapist. I need an outlet for all the shit in my head. I’ve always been pretty open about what I’m feeling and going through (with my writing, anyway. Personal face-to-face communication is another issue entirely.) I’ve always felt that, as lonely and isolated as I sometimes feel, there’s always others who are going through similar situations. It’s always good to know there are other people out there in the same boat. I’ve used my writing, in the past, as a form of therapy, of working through the issues in my life, trying to make some sense of what is going on in my head. I don’t know if it has helped, but it’s been good to get it out anyway. Presenting it in a public forum brings about a certain sense of accountability also. I’m not really concerned if anyone actually reads any of it. I mainly just want to get it out of my head, and maybe someone else can find some value in it.
